Star Wars Galaxies

Songs

Kalabakk wouldn't be much of a Boogie Wookiee if he didn't have a few songs, now would he? I enjoyed writing silly little things to sing in-game to entertain people. Here are some of the songs I wrote/parodied.

Wookiee Lymric

There once was a Wookiee from Kashyyyk,
Who played the kloo horn with much magic.
He played in cantinas, earning but peanuts,
In AFK groups, it's just tragic.

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Wookiee Blues

Woke up this morning,
Then I went into town.
Was given an Imperial warning,
By the troopers all around.

(Refrain)
Got the Wookiee Blues, baby,
Oh, no, Lowca is down.
Got the Wookiee Blues, baby,
The most unstable server I've found.

They searched me for spice,
It didn't take long.
Then they said, real nice,
"Move along, move along."

Refrain

Went to the Med Center,
Scratching my arms and my knees.
Doc took one look at my fur,
And said, "Son, it looks like fleas."

Refrain

I just don't understand, then,
I groom my fur each day.
It must be from that Ewok,
Man, he's gonna pay!

Refrain

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The Rappin' Wookiee

The rappin' Wookiee is back in town,
Rappin' in Theed and all around,
Now sit right back and grab a seat,
And listen to my rhymes, they can't be beat.

Now I started my days on Corellia,
Playin' dope songs, they were silly-a,
Shootin' butterflies and having a ball,
No credits to my name, but standin' tall.

Moved to Naboo and opened a shop,
Sold those torches - 500 a pop,
Then I ventured out to Babelon,
For a charity raffle, it sure was fun.

Fell in love with the city and made it my home,
Built myself a house so I wouldn't roam,
Mastered the music so I could entertain,
A musical Wookiee, they said I was insane.

But now I'm here and I'm rockin' the mic,
A musical Wookiee, what's not to like?
I bring smiles to the faces, my rhymes aren't lazy,
Fleas in my fur? Boy, you must be crazy.

Rappin' old-school in Shyriiwook,
Grunting and growling to make you look,
This rhyme's been going for a bit too long,
So I think it's time to end this song.

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The Bownt Song

It's the Wook-i-double e, y'all!
Yeah, the Boogie Wookiee's here, kickin' rhymes for you,
Playin' in cantinas all across Naboo.
People seem to think I'm just a teddy bear,
But my rap's so fine, no others can compare.

(Refrain)
Boogie Wookiee, playin' songs at the shuttle,
Boogie Wookiee, he makes ya wanna cuddle.
Boogie Wookiee, more rhymes than you can count,
Boogie Wookiee, let me hear ya yell "BOWNT"!
Bownt-chicka-bownt-wownt, chicka bownt-wownt,
Bownt-chicka-bownt-wownt, chicka bownt-wownt.

A master entertainer, I always rock the mic,
The mand or the nalargon, I rock it all night.
I win the crowd with laughter, I win them with charm,
If y'all don't like it, then I'm gonna rip some arms!

Refrain

Now wave your hands around, raise them in da air,
And boogie to da beat like ya just don't ca-are.
This song is almost over, so don't forget me,
My name is Kalabakk, the rhymin' Wook-i-double e.

Refrain

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The Yoda Song

He's two feet tall and oh, so green,
Always good and never mean.
The wisest guy you've ever seen,
900 years old and his mind's still keen.

He lead the Counsel of Jedi Knights,
Through good and bad and many plights.
He does no wrongs and teaches rights,
Don't mess with him in a saber fight.

Floppy ears and big round eyes,
Judge him not based on his size.
He knows the Force and is so wise,
On Dagobah he met his demise.

Speaks strange, he does, but don't you fret,
My rhymin's not quite over yet.
In a battle of Force, on him I'd bet,
The galaxy is in his debt.

Looks like a Muppet, or so they say,
But his lessons, with you, will always stay.
His race is unclear even to this day,
But he'll help the Jedi see another day.

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The Last Hunt

Dedicated to the memory of Amy Little (Faolain Nightshade)

This is an extremely ancient Wookiee song traditionally only sung in times of mourning. It is said that this song comes from a time long before the Republic was founded. Very few non-Wookiees have ever heard this song, but I thought it fitting to sing in Faolain's honor. The song is called "The Last Hunt," and it is the tale of a young Wookiee and his rite of passage.

Way up in the wroshyr trees,
A cub was born for all to see,
His eyes were bright, his heart was strong,
His arms were big and his legs were long.

The little cub, he soon did walk,
He'd pretend to hunt and pretend to stalk,
His coat still held its child's fur,
He was sweet and kind, that's for sure.

This little cub began to grow,
He longed to hunt in the forest below.
His eyes still bright, his heart still strong,
He knew of honor and did no wrong.

Bigger now this Wookiee was,
His thick brown fur held no baby fuzz.
He offered help to those in need,
A fine example for all to heed.

Then came the day of his rite of passage,
Ryyyk blade in hand, but showed no rage.
Away he went down in the black,
But the brave young Wookiee did not come back.

They searched for him 'til they were worn,
Up in the trees they all did mourn,
The tears did fly like sparks from a welder,
All of them, except one elder.

The old Wookiee, he had a grin,
The other stared and puzzled at him.
"How can you smile?" the elder heard,
He raised his head and said these words:

"Remember the smiles he always brought,
Remember how of himself, he never thought.
Remember his life and not his grave,
Remember how freely, help he gave.

When I think of this, I can't help but grin,
As sweet as kolvissh blossoms in the wind.
He made the world a better place,
That is why there is a smile on my face.

If each of you can be remembered such,
Then full was your life, and those you touched.
So I smile for him and his memory,
Now stay your crying and smile with me."

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The Death of the Death Star

Around the general the pilots sat,
To get a briefing for the attack.
The star does well against large ships, that makes sense,
But a small fighter could penetrate its defense.
Fly down there and find the small port,
It's two meters wide, the sources report.
A direct hit will start a chain reaction,
And no others will suffer the fate of Alderaan.

The time of attack was drawing near,
All of the pilots were gathered here,
X-Wings and Y-Wings, they all were humming,
The Falcon was leaving, it wasn't coming,
"Take care of yourself, it's what you do best,"
Said the whiny farm boy to the guy in the vest.

S-foils are open, the ships have deployed,
Approaching the Death Star, with intent to destroy.
"Look at the size of that thing" says the guy in Red 2,
"Cut the chatter," came the response as they flew.
Luke takes a hit, and Artoo, he does fix,
Wedge blasts some TIE's, it was Luke they had picked.

Down the trench goes Y-wing Gold 5,
He hopes he'll come out of there safe and alive.
The guns stop their fire, could this be the end?
Then a group of TIE's shows up straight overhead.
They fire and they blast, and down the wings go,
One, two, and three, the TIE's shoot and blow.

Some X-wings head down to meet their end,
And almost succeed, but the TIE's strike again.
The lead fired hard at the exhaust vent,
But they hit the surface and didn't go in.
Vader and friends are quite the top guns,
And wait for the next round of Rebels to run.

Biggs, Wedge, and Luke go in at full throttle,
"Like Beggar's Canyon back home," Luke says with a chortle.
The TIE fighters come in at bearing point-3,
Wedge takes a hit, there's no choice but to flee,
Biggs gets blown up, now Luke's all alone,
Vader senses that the Force is strong in this one.

"Use the Force, Luke" says the voice in Luke's head,
It sounds like Kenobi, but how, he is dead?
"Let go, Luke... Luke, trust me" the voice says, not rough,
The targeting computer, Luke then switches off.
Artoo gets hit and it looks pretty bad,
The Star clears the planet, and Tarkin is glad.
"You may fire when ready," the Grand Moff said,
Not knowing that soon, he'd explode and be dead.

It looks like Luke will not make it safe home,
When suddenly a TIE above smokes and explodes.
With the sun at its back, and its quad cannons smokin'
It's Han and Chewie in the Millennium Falcon!
The two other TIEs collide and off course they are thrown,
"You're all clear, kid, now let's blow this thing and go home!"
The shots are away, the Force guides them there,
The fighters all scramble to make their way clear.

The Death Star blows into pieces, must be a billion,
"Great shot, kid, that was one in a million!"
Yavin IV cheers, in the base and its hallways,
"Remember, the Force will be with you, always."

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Falcon

She soars like the bird whose name she bears
And more often than not, in need of repairs
She is the ship of a Rebellion hero
Corellian YT one-three-zero-zero.

Won from Lando in a game of sabacc
Don't mess with her, she'll reap much havoc
This mighty ship, Han's pride and joy
Who could ask for a better toy?

She smuggled spice, kept Han alive
She flies past light-speed at point-five
A hunk of junk she's called by some
But in less than 12 parsecs made the Kessel Run

Belly turret and dual quad-cannons
She'll give Imperial hides a tanning
Got it where it counts, that ain't no jive
But be ready to fix the hyperdrive

Her furry mate and that scoundrel guy
Fly her fast and fly her high
She'll take a beating and that's a fact
Then turn around and give it back

The most famous ship in the Rebellion fleet
This battered freighter has earned her keep
When you need help, you'll be glad you met her
The Millennium Falcon, there is none better

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Kashyyyk's Freedom

Kashyyyk's the place where I was born
But being there, my heart is torn
Mighty forests, burned and paved
Wookiee brothers now enslaved

Kachirho's where the ships do land
Tarfful's home, he sure was grand
Home of honor, that is true
Hope it finds its peace anew

Standing in the wroshyr tree
Gorgeous forest canopy
Feel the souls of Wookiees past
Fighting hard and fighting fast

Much has changed since I was young
Sad to see how it's become
Keep our honor with all we've seen
Kashyyyk's freedom is what I dream

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The Old Wild West

Tumbleweeds and cacti blooming
Tatooine and the temperature's zooming
Thunderclouds, there are none looming
No, there are none in the Old Wild West

(Refrain) Ride on in from the old wild west
Where life is good and songs are best
Sing it loud sing it with zest
Ride on in from the Old Wild West
Yee-Haw!
*cracks the whip*

It is so hot my speeder's screaming
Them two suns, they are a-beaming
Tusken hunters are a-teaming
Out in the sand of the Old Wild West

Refrain

Home of Luke and Uncle Owen
Dust-storms get that sand a-blowing
To Anchorhead I'm a-going
On my bike in the Old Wild West

Refrain

Wookiee's fur all full of sand
Brush it out with foot and hand
Playing my song in a real good band
Right out here in the Old Wild West

Refrain

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Space

Engines roaring, blasters shooting
Pirate rears I am a-booting
Hyperdrive will get me scooting
Scavenged parts I am a-looting

Got my feet up off the ground
Planet-side no longer bound
All new places I have found
Since I'm flying round and round

Got that target in my sights
Gonna be this guy's last flight
Blast his shields with all my might
Blow him up and end the fight

Take my ship and fill its mass
Fitting those parts, pain in the... rump
See clouds below, maybe some grass
Nebulae like colored glass

I am free up in this place
It brings a smile to my face
When others of the Wookiee race
Can taste their freedom up in space

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Wookity

Time to rock it again with my Wook-ity beat
You've heard others try to rhyme and they can't compete
Try to out-rock me, they're just a no-fur cub
Better hang their heads in shame and get out of my club

Battle me on the mic with their stupid grin
Hang on to their arms, cause the Wookiee's gonna win
Rhymes flowing tighter than Padme's dress
I am the Boogie Wookiee in case you couldn't guess

Sloppy rhymin' fools try to get in my space
My beats will mess them up like Vader's face
Breathing all heavy cause they can't compete
So they give up and clap to the Wook-ity beat

Palpatine tried to ban my smooth jams
So I met with him to hear his plans
That soul-less Emperor, what's he got to say?
I don't know, but he sure could use some Oil of Olay

From the Core, to Kessel, to the Outer Rim
To Doaba Guerfel where I did begin
Gonna rock non-stop as you can see
I am Kalabakk, the Boogie Wooki-i-ee

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Bad Fur Day

I woke up in the morning and my fur was all tangled
It had knots and snarls and it was mashed and mangled
Must have slept on it wrong for it to look this way
Looks like it will be another bad fur day

Bad fur day, it won't listen to my pleas
Bad fur day, at least there aren't fleas

Then my ship broke down in a hyperspace lane
Caused traffic for hours, everyone went insane
I got on the comm and called Galactic Triple-A
Then found out my membership expired yesterday

Bad fur day, needs more than a brush
Bad fur day, want it fixed in a rush

As if the day hadn't gone bad enough
My speederbike started leaking this blue and red stuff
Like it or not, the repulsor's end had come
I fell off the bike and on to my bum

Bad fur day, want it to end real quick
Bad fur day, major Wookiee cowlick

I had leaves and grass all stuck to my lap
Must have fell into some kind sticky tree sap
Got harassed by stormtroopers to top it all off
Then swallowed a bug and started to cough

Bad fur day, looks like a nightmare
Bad fur day, big mess of Wookiee hair

The motivator then blew on my favorite droid
Not covered by warranty, it was null and void
But even though the day went horribly wrong
At least I was able to write a new song

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The NGE Song

Hotkeys gone, it makes me sick
Simple tasks take many clicks
Want to craft, but can't do that
Cause then I couldn't sing or rap

No xp and missing titles
Combat is just suicidal
Half an hour to figure out
How to use a hotkey or move about

Have to /rap 'cause /sing is broke
The interface, it is a joke
Everything is full of bugs
But at least I can still /wookieehug

NGE, oh, why, oh, why
Do you make so many people cry
We all play the NGE
The latest mess from SOE

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Greedo

Greedo, you're really neato
Tried to kill Han, but did not succeedo
Did you shoot first or did he
Depends if you are watching VHS or DVD

Greedo, snout like a burrito
One of Jabba's hires in a thug's tuxedo
You were green with rubbery spines
But your hunting wasn't all that fine.

Greedo, your fame did fleeto
Finding rhymes for your name is compliceeto
Over Han's dead body, that was the idea
But you should have passed and had some beer

Greedo, you're skills weren't 1337o
Couldn't hit a Hutt with a torpedo
Should have played the slitherhorn for your vocation
Then you could be here with us at the Rodian Invasion!

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Wookiee-tonk Song

My speeder's broke and the well's gone dry
My ship blew up there in the sky
My Wookiee wife done said goodbye
It was a rough day, that ain't no lie

I'll pick this mando and sing along
Then I'm sure it won't take too long
For everything that has gone wrong
To melt away with my Wookiee-tonk song

My pet chupa, he plumb ran away
I searched for him all night and day
House maintenance I forgot to pay
The repo guys hauled my tree away

Why does all this happen to me
I try to be a nice Wookiee
Is it selfish to want a quiet tree
Where I can find a little peace?

I'll pick this mando and sing along
Then I'm sure it won't take too long
For everything that has gone wrong
To melt away with my Wookiee-tonk song

I climbed a tree, but broke a claw
Then I fell onto a branch and hurt my paw
I wish I could just run home to my ma
But she's hiding away from Imperial law

I wish I could just find some peace
And not get hassled by the Mos Eisley police
Maybe earn enough to afford a lease
So I don't have to share a tree with Corellain geese

I'll pick this mando and sing along
Then I'm sure it won't take too long
For everything that has gone wrong
To melt away with my Wookiee-tonk song

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Jar Jar

Jar-Jar Binks, yousa so dumb
Yousa is a-hated by everyone
Essa dar sometin' wrong witha yousa
That could be explainin' yousa IQ of two-sa

Wesa hopin' yousa fallin' done some stairs
Or maybe wander into a rancor's lair
I don't wants to being cruel, Jar-Jar, but...
Yousa smellin' worse den Jabba da Hutt

Yousa was a-banished, and wesa was glad
But then yousa came back and wesa was mad
Wesa senta yousa into da planet core
Hopin' that yousa wouldn't come back-a no more

Mesa wonderin' if Boba Fett isa still around
Wesa could hire him to be knockin yousa down
A galaxy without Jar-Jar isa all wesa ask
Why can't-a he become a sarlacc's snack?

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Admiral Ackbar

Two large eyes, rubbery finger that flaps
And if you ask for advice, he'll warn about traps
Our favorite Mon Cal, his fleet takes no crap
Always brilliant with a battle assessment map

It's a trap, it's a trap
Oh my heavens
It's a trap, it's a trap
In sector 47

Walks around in that tan and white suit
His ships can't repel fire of that magnitude
Started as a pilot, an Imperial "recruit"
Flying for Tarkin, that boney old coot

It's a trap, it's a trap
Oh my heavens
It's a trap, it's a trap
In sector 47

Admiral Ackbar, I really must say
There's no one better, no how, no way
Your tactics will be taught for many a day
And we all can't wait to hear you say...

It's a trap, it's a trap
Oh my heavens
It's a trap, it's a trap
In sector 47

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Wook Attack

A Wook Attack is really something to see
I start busting those rhymes from A to Z
And when I rock the mic, well, y'all better flee
Cause there just ain't no stoppin' this Wook-i-ee

Big, brown, and furry, that's what I be
I'm rappin' and singin' across the galaxy
You will never hear anyone like me
I'm the one and only Boogie Wook-i-ee

Now I've heard others who think they can rhyme
But I beat them again, time and time
Their lazy raps are a dozen a dime
But mine have some zip, like lemon and lime

I don't need no chrono, I don't need no clock
Cause I know that it is always just time to rock
Ya'll have survived, lock, barrel, and stock
A Wook Attack by me, Kalabakk

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Troopers

Look at these guys all clad in white
Visible sign of the Empire's might
Can't shoot straight, but that's all right
'Cause Palpy will clone some more over night

They're troopers, stormtroopers, like TK-421
They're troopers, stormtroopers, E-11's their gun

Spam the cantinas for missing sixth stamps
Running in armor must give them leg cramps
The sweat in that shell must make them quite damp
In force they destroy Rebel base camps

They're troopers, stormtroopers, like TK-421
They're troopers, stormtroopers, E-11's their gun

They started as clones of some Mando named Fett
Fought hard and proved worthy, on them most would bet
Feared by the masses and the rebellious set
A wall of white armor, past them you must get

They're troopers, stormtroopers, like TK-421
They're troopers, stormtroopers, E-11's their gun

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The Wookiee Song

(parody of The Lumberjack Song by Monty Python)

I'm a Wookiee, and I'm okay,
I sleep all night and I work all day.
I cut down trees, I look for heals,
And ride my landspeeder,
I put on Wookiee's clothing, and hang around in bars.
I'm a Wookiee, and I'm okay,
I sleep all night and I work all day.

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Boogie Wookiee Slitherhorn-er from Doaba G

(parody of The Boogie Woogie Bugle Boy from Company B)

He was a famous slitherhorn wookiee from out Corellia way
Had a boogie-Wookiee style, or so they say
Had not enough money to learn his craft
But then a kind woman tipped him credits so his bankroll was staffed
He's in Babelon now, he owns the cantin-i
He's the Boogie Wookiee slitherhorn-er from Doaba G

He had to blow the slitherhorn in AFK bands
It really brought him down because he could not jam
The other musicians seemed to understand
Because they played with him to get XP and a great big ol' band
And now Babelon jumps in the cantin-i
He's the Boogie Wookiee slitherhorn-er from Doaba G

A root, a toot, a toodlie-a-da-toot
He blows it eight to the bar in boogie-Wookiee rhythm
He can't blow a note unless Alanis is playin' with him
And now Babelon jumps in the cantin-i
He's the Boogie Wookiee slitherhorn-er from Doaba G

He keeps the bars a-rockin' every day and night
And makes 'em stay awake until the early bright
The clap their hands and stamp their feet
'Cause they know how he rocks when Alanis gives him a beat
Whoa, whoa, he makes Babelon jump in the cantin-i
He's the Boogie Wookiee slitherhorn-er from Doaba G
Yes, he's the Boogie Wookiee slitherhorn-er from Doaba G
Boogie Wookiee slitherhorn-er from Doabaaaaaaaa G!

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Roo Rah Rirry Rirry

(parody of Do Wah Diddy Diddy)

There she was just a walking on Kashyyyk
Singing roo rah rirry rirry rown rirry roo
Her well-groomed fur was looking oh-so chic
Singing roo rah rirry rirry rown rirry roo

She looked good (looked good)
Fur so fine (fur so fine)
She looked good, fur so fine
It had a very healthy shine

Before I knew it she was grooming fur for me
Singing roo rah rirry rirry rown rirry roo
She looked real hard but she never found a flea
Singing roo rah rirry rirry rown rirry roo

We groomed on (groomed on)
Not a chore (not a chore)
We groomed on not a chore (we groomed on not a chore)
Then we groomed a little more

Ro ro ro
I knew we was falling in love
Yes I did
And so I roared and told her all the trees I'd been dreaming of

Now we were together
Nearly every single day
Singing roo rah rirry rirry rown rirry roo
Til Imperial slavers tried to take us both away
Singing roo rah rirry rirry rown rirry roo

Roo rah rirry rirry rown rirry roo
*arm ripping sounds*
Roo rah rirry rirry rown roo
*stormtrooper armor crunching sounds*
Roo rah rirry rirry rown rirry roo

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Volcanic Fire

(parody of Ring of Fire by Johnny Cash)

Lava is a burning thing
And it melted all my Jedi bling
Bound by Sith desire
I fell into volcanic fire

I fell into a burning ring of fire
Had low ground, ground, ground
But Obi-Wan's was higher

And it burns, burns, burns
Volcanic fire
Volcanic fire

The taste of power is sweet
Even coming from Palpatine
I fell for Padme back as a child
Oh, that Queen was wild.

I fell into a burning ring of fire
Had low ground, ground, ground
But Obi-Wan's was higher

And it burns, burns, burns
Volcanic fire
Volcanic fire

I fell into a burning ring of fire
Had low ground, ground, ground
But Obi-Wan's was higher

And it burns, burns, burns
Volcanic fire
Volcanic fire

And it burns, burns, burns
Volcanic fire
Volcanic fire

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Palpatine

(parody of Oh Mickey by Toni Basil)

Oh, Palpy, so unkind
So unkind you blow my mind
Palp-a-tine, Palp-a-tine

Hey Palpy!
You're Emperor for life and that's a little long
You think the Sith are right but I think you've got it wrong
Why can't you ditch Darth Vader so you can take me home, Palpy

'Cause when you force your will, the people hate you more
Your face gives me the chills, baby, keep that cloak adorned
Every night you still leave me all alone, Palpy

Oh, Palpy, what a pity you don't understand
Your evil gave wrinkles and that doesn't look so grand
Oh, Palpy, you're so scary, can't you understand
It's Sith like you Palpy
Oh, what you do Palpy, do Palpy
Don't Force-crush my heart, Palpy

Hey Palpy!
Now when you blow up Aldaraan, everyone's gonna know
It's really hard to miss that big Death Star, you know
That exhaust port is somethin' the Rebels can use, so don't say no, Palpy

So come on and give me that wrinkled up old hand
Come back to the light side if you think you can
Oh please, baby, please, don't shoot that lightning, Palpy

Oh, Palpy, what a pity you don't understand
Your evil gave wrinkles and that doesn't look so grand
Oh, Palpy, you're so scary, can't you understand
It's Sith like you Palpy
Oh, what you do Palpy, do Palpy
Don't Force-crush my heart, Palpy

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The Wookiees

(parody of (Theme from) The Monkees by The Monkees)

Here we come, walking on Kashyyyk
Give the furriest hugs to
Everyone we meet

Hey, hey, we're the Wookiees
And people say we Wookiee around
But we're too busy hugging
To pull people's arms right out

Climb wherever we want to
It's what we like to do
We don't have time to get restless
There's always songs for you

Hey, hey, we're the Wookiees
And people say we Wookiee around
But we're too busy hugging
To pull people's arms right out

We're just trying to be friendly
Come watch us sing and play
We're the furry nation
Have you hugged a Wookiee today?

If you have fur, or if you have hair
You just come up to our shoulders
But no one really cares

Hey, hey, we're the Wookiees
And people say we Wookiee around
But we're too busy hugging
To pull people's arms right out

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Ur Urr Urr Urr, Ar Arr Arr Arr

(parody of De doo doo doo, de da da da by The Police)

Don't think them unkind
They're not out of their mind
They just have sand in their behinds
Captured Fort Tusken did their kind
And when they are around, many flee
For fear of being smacked by a gaffi

Ur urr urr urr, ar arr arr arr
Is all those Tuskens say to you
Ur urr urr urr, ar arr arr arr
Those heavy robes can't keep them cool
Ur urr urr urr, ar arr arr arr
Is all those Tuskens say to you
Ur urr urr urr, ar arr arr arr
They're Sandpeople to me and you

Computer terminals give the missions
To Tatooine waypoints and positions
Try to hunt the Tuskens to submission
But that usually doesn't come to fruition
And when their banthas trample you
You'll know why you should fear them too

Ur urr urr urr, ar arr arr arr
Is all those Tuskens say to you
Ur urr urr urr, ar arr arr arr
Those heavy robes can't keep them cool
Ur urr urr urr, ar arr arr arr
Is all those Tuskens say to you
Ur urr urr urr, ar arr arr arr
They're Sandpeople to me and you

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Tiny Jawa People

(parody of Shiny Happy People by REM)

Tiny Jawa people trading

Miss them in a crowd
People people
Scavenge those parts around
Pay them, pay them
Sell them in the town
Jawas, Jawas
Lost droids they have found
Where no flowers grow
Gold protocol droids shine

Tiny Jawa people trading
Tiny Jawa people in the sand
Tiny Jawa people trading

Make the cutest sounds, love them, love them
Their junk is in demand
Buy it, buy it
Better deal you will not find
Jawas, Jawas
Don't break their little hearts
Make a deal that binds
Gold protocol droids shine

Tiny Jawa people trading
Tiny Jawa people in the sand
Tiny Jawa people trading
Tiny Jawa people in the sand

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A Wook named "Chew" (bacca)

(parody of A Boy Named Sue by Johnny Cash)

My daddy left Kashyyyk when I was three
And he didn't leave much to ma and me
Just this old mandoviol and an empty bottle of accarragm
Now, I don't blame him cause he run and hid
But the meanest thing that he ever did
Was before he left, he went and named me "Chew" (bacca)

Well, he must o' thought that is quite a joke
And it got a lot of laughs from a' lots of folk
It seems I had to fight my whole life through
Some Twi'lek would /giggle and I'd get red
And some guy'd laugh and I'd remove his head
I tell ya, life ain't easy for a Wook named "Chew" (bacca)

Well, I grew up quick and I grew up mean
My paw got hard and my wits got keen
I'd roam from planet to planet to hide my shame
But I made a vow to the moon and stars
That I'd search the honky-tinas and bars
And kill that Wook who gave me that awful name

Well, it was Tatooine in mid-July
And I just hit town and my fur was dry
I thought I'd stop and have myself a brew
At an old cantina on a street of dirty black
There at a table, dealing pazaak
Sat the dirty, mangy Wook that named me "Chew" (bacca)

Well, I knew that Wook was my own sweet dad
From a worn-out holo that my mother'd had
And I knew that scar on his fur and his evil eye
He was big and bent and gray and old
And I looked at him and my fur ran cold
And I said: "My name is 'Chew' (bacca) How do you do!
Now your gonna get pwned!!"

Well, I hit him hard right between the eyes
And he went down, but to my surprise
He come up with a ryyyk blade and cut off a piece of my ear
But I busted a sofa chair right across his teeth
And we crashed through the wall and into the street
Kicking and a' gouging in the dirt and the blood and the beer

I tell ya, I've fought tougher men
But I really can't remember when
He kicked like a nuna and he bit like a katarn
I heard him laugh and then I heard him cuss
He went for his bowcaster and I pulled mine first
He stood there lookin' at me and I saw him smile

And he said: "Son, this galaxy is rough
And if a Wook's gonna make it, he's gotta be tough
And I knew I wouldn't be there to help ya along.
So I give ya that name and I said goodbye
I knew you'd have to get tough or die
And it's the name that helped to make you strong"

He said: Now you just fought one heck of a fight
And I know you hate me, and you got the right
To shave me now, and I wouldn't blame you if you do
But ya ought to thank me, before I die
For the gravel in ya fur and the spit in ya eye
Cause I'm the son-of-a-biznatch that named you "Chew" (bacca)

I got all choked up and I threw down my gun
And I called him my pa, and he called me his son
And I came away with a different point of view
And I think about him, now and then
Every time I PvP and every time I win
And if I ever have a son, I think I'm gonna name him
Kalabakk or Tarfful! Anything but "Chew" (bacca)! I still hate that darned name

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Shoot the Ties

(parody of Walk the Line by Johnny Cash)

I keep a close watch on this ship of mine
I keep my blasters fully charged all the time
I pull the arms out of the Imps that lie
Because Wooks die, I shoot the TIEs

I find it very, very easy to blast two
I find myself alone after shooting a few
Yes, I'll admit, that I can't fight like Chew (bacca)
Because Wooks die, I shoot the TIEs

As sure as Vader is dark and Yoda is light
I keep those ships in my sites both day and night
And GCW points I've earned proves that it's right
Because Wooks die, I shoot the TIEs

You've got a way to keep your arms on tight
You give me cause to remove them that I can't hide
For them I know I'd even try to skin their hides
Because Wooks die, I shoot the TIEs

I keep a close watch on this ship of mine
I keep my blasters fully charged all the time
I pull the arms out of the Imps that lie
Because Wooks die, I shoot the TIEs

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One Piece at a Time

(parody of One Piece at a Time by Johnny Cash)

Well, I left Kashyyyk back in '49
An' went to Incom workin' on an assembly line
The first year they had me puttin' landing struts on X-Wings

Every day I'd watch them beauties fly by
And sometimes I'd hang my head and cry
'Cause I always wanted me one that was long and white

One day I devised myself a plan
That should be the envy of most any man
I'd sneak it out of there in a lunchbox in my hand
Now gettin' caught meant gettin' shaved
But I figured I'd have it all by the time I was no longer a slave
I'd have me an X-Wing worth at least a hundred grand

I'd get it one piece at a time
And it wouldn't cost me a dime
You'll know it's me when I fly through your town
I'm gonna fly ride around in style
I'm gonna drive everybody wild
'Cause you'll wonder how it ever got off the ground

So the very next day when I punched in
With my big lunchbox and with help from my friends
I left that day with a lunch box full of shields
Now, I've never considered myself a thief
But Incom wouldn't miss just one little piece
Especially if I strung it out over several tiers

The first day I got me a missle pack
And the next day I got me an engine for the back
Then I got me a booster and all of the paint kits
The little things I could get in my big backpack
Like nuts, an' bolts, and an accessory bag
But the big stuff we snuck out in my buddy's Sorosuub yacht

Now, up to now my plan went all right
'Til we tried to put it all together one night
And that's when we noticed that something was definitely wrong

The engine was a level 3
And the reactor turned out to be level 8, you see
And when we tried to put in the bolts all the holes were gone

So we drilled it out so that it would fit
And with a little bit of help from a texture kit
We had that engine runnin' just like a song
Now the cannon was another sight
We had two on the left and one on the right
But when we pulled on the trigger all three of 'em fired

The back end looked kinda funny too
But we put it together and when we got through
Well, that's when we noticed that we only had one engine nacelle
About that time my droid rolled out
And I could see in her sensors that she had her doubts
But she popped in the slot and said "Wookiee, take me for a spin."

So we flew to town just to get the tags
And I headed her right on down main drag
I could hear everybody laughin' for kilometers around
But up there at the guild house they didn't laugh
'Cause to put it in the computer it took the whole staff
And when they got through the datapad weighed sixty pounds

I got it one piece at a time
And it didn't cost me a dime
You'll know it's me when I fly through your town
I'm gonna fly ride around in style
I'm gonna drive everybody wild
'Cause you'll wonder how it ever got off the ground

Uh, yeah, Red 5
This is the Furry Mouth
In the Psycho-Billy X-Wing, Come on

Huh?

This is the Furry Mouth
And negatory on the cost of this mo-chine there Red 5
You might say I went right up to the factory and picked it up
It's cheaper that way

What model is it?
Well, it's a '49, '50, '51, '52, '53, '54, '55, '56, '57, '58, '59 X-Wing
Well, it's a '60, '61, '62, '63, '64, '65, '66, '67, '68, '69, '70 X-Wing

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(Ghost) Jedi in the Sky

(parody of (Ghost) Riders in the Sky by Johnny Cash)

An old Jedi went riding out one dark and windy day
Upon a ridge he rested as he went along his way
When all at once a mighty burned Jedi ghost he saw
A-running through the ragged sky and up the cloudy draw

Its clothes were still on fire and it screamed an awful squeal
Its skin was red and shiny and the lava it could feel
A bolt of fear went through him as it thundered through the sky
For he saw the burned guy coming hard and he heard its mournful cry

It burns oh-ohhhhhh
Where is Pad-me-ayyyyyy
Ghost Jedi in the sky

Its face was gaunt, its eyes were yellow, its shirt was burned to threads
Its running hard to catch Obi-Wan, but it ain't caught 'em yet
'Cause its got to ride forever on that volcano in the sky
On rivers snorting fire
As it runs on hear its cry

As the burned guy loped on by him he heard it call his name
If you want to save yourself from the Dark Side each and every day
Then Jedi change your ways today or with me you will run
Trying to catch Obi-Wan, and that is just no fun

It burns oh-ohhhhhh
Where is Pad-me-ayyyyyy

Ghost Jedi in the sky
Ghost Jedi in the sky
Ghost Jedi in the sky

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Millennium Falcon Special

(parody of Orange Blossom Special by Johnny Cash)

Look a-yonder comin'
Comin' down that hyperspace lane
Hey, look a-yonder comin'
Comin' down that hyperspace lane
It's the Millennium Falcon Special
Its engines will never wane

Well, I'm going down to Corellia
And get some sand in my shoes
Or maybe Tatooine
And get some sand in my shoes
I'll ride that Millennium Falcon Special
And lose these Kessel blues

"Say man, when you going back to Corellia?"
"When am I goin' back to Corellia? I don't know, don't reckon I ever will."
"Ain't you worried about getting your nourishment in Kessel?"
"Well, I don't care if I do-clone-do-clone-do-clone-do-clone."

Hey talk about a-ramblin'
She's the fastest freighter anywhere
Point-five past light when travellin'
She's the fastest freighter anywhere
It's that Millennium Falcon Special
Giving the Empire a scare.

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Kalabakk is Here

(Parody of Paul Revere by the Beastie Boys)

Now here's a little story, I've got to tell,
About a big brown Wookiee from Doaba Guerfel.
It started way back in 2003,
On the Lowca server in SWG.
I'm a little Wookiee, Kalabakk is here,
Was on a shuttle trip when the Imperials appeared.
Riding across space, then troopers in my face,
Cause they think there is spice and junk in this place.
One broke Wookiee I be,
All by myself, without nobody.
The sun is beating down on my furry back,
Newbie pistol in my hand, three melons in my pack.
Lookin' at this girl, she really was so kind,
Gave me a hundred credits, I said, "Thanks" - she didn't mind.

I'll tell a little story - one that's well rehearsed,
Not long in the game and the melons got nerfed.
Slitherhorn in my hand, hoping for a tip,
My voice was hoarse, my throat was dry - a trooper on my hip.
He said, "Move along, move along,"
I muttered, "Imperial bum."
Had a chance to run,
He pulled out his big gun.
Quick on the draw, I thought I'd be dead,
He put the gun to my head and this is what he said,

"Now my name is TK421 - I've got a license to kill,
I think you know what time it is - it's time to get ill.
Now what do we have here - illegal spice that is near,
The Empire runs this land, you understand, do I make myself clear?"
We stepped in the cantina, he had a gun, I ordered gin,
You think this story's over, but it's ready to begin.

"Now I got the gun - you got the brew,
You got two choices of what you can do.
It's not a tough decision as you can see,
I can blow you away or you can give your spice to me."
I said, I'll give it to you if you stop giving orders,
Now listen while I play my sliterhorn-er.
I'll play it like this, I'll play it like that,
Just don't hit me with that big nerf bat.
So I'm playing some, he's still got his gun,
And right about now it's time to have some fun.
Kalabakk, that is my name,
And I know that fly cantina where XP I can gain.
The shuttle was six minutes then we hit the spot,
The beat was a bumping, Twi'lek girlies was hot.
This dude was staring like he knows who we are,
We took the empty spot next to him at the bar.
TK421 said, "Yo, you know this kid?"
I said, "I didn't," - but I know he did.
The kid said, "Get ready cause this ain't funny,
My name's RF738 and I'm about to get money."
Pulled out the carbine - aimed it at the sky,
He yelled, "Stick 'em up!" and let blaster bolts fly.
Hands went up and people went /prone on the floor,
He stunned two Jawas that ran for the door.
"I'm RF738 and I get respect,
Your credits and your spice is what I expect."
TK421 was with it, but he must have spaced,
Cause I ripped off his arm and hit him in the face.
TK's out - the bandflo's stopped,
RF738 had beef - his shoulder I popped.
I returned all the money, I returned all the gold,
And my so-called spice? It was just medicine for my cold.

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The Mustafar Mash

(parody of The Monster Mash)

I was working in the lab late one night
When my eyes beheld an eerie sight
No arms or legs, but with yellow eyes
And suddenly to my surprise

He did the mash
He did the Mustafar Mash
The Mustafar Mash
It was a volcanic smash
He did the mash
It caught on fire in a flash
He did the mash
He did the Mustafar Mash

From my laboratory in the mining outpost east
To the master bedroom where the lava fleas feast
The ghouls all came from their humble abodes
To get a jolt from my electric keyboard

They did the mash
They did the Mustafar Mash
The Mustafar Mash
It was a volcanic smash
They did the mash
It caught on fire in a flash
They did the mash
They did the Mustafar Mash

The natives were having fun
The party had just begun
The guests included Palpatine
Clone two and Clone one

The scene was molten rockin', all were digging the sounds
Alanis on bandfill, the Boogie Wookiee's in town
The Jedi-bangers were about to arrive
With their vocal group, "The Force-Kicker Five"

They played the mash
They played the Mustafar Mash
The Mustafar Mash
It was a volcanic smash
They played the mash
It caught on fire in a flash
They played the mash
They played the Mustafar Mash

Out from his coffin, Anakin's voice did ring
Seems he was troubled by just one thing
He opened the lid and shook his fist
And said, "Whatever happened to my Tatooine twist?"

It's now the mash
It's now the Mustafar Mash
The Mustafar Mash
And it's a volcanic smash
It's now the mash
It's caught on fire in a flash
It's now the mash
It's now the Mustafar Mash

Now everything's cool, Anakin's a part of the band
And my Mustafar Mash is the hit of the land
For you, the living, this mash was meant too
When you get to my door, tell them Obi-Wan sent you

Then you can mash
Then you can Mustafar Mash
The Mustafar Mash
And do my volcanic smash
Then you can mash
You'll catch on fire in a flash
Then you can mash
Then you can Moooooooostafarrrrrrrr Mash

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Kalabakk the Red Robed Wookiee

(parody of Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer)

Kalabakk the red-robed Wookiee
Had a very runny nose
And if you ever saw it
You would think it's really gross
All of the other Wookiees
Used to laugh and call him names (like snot-face)
They never let poor Kalabakk
Join in any Wookiee games (like Monopoly)

Then one foggy Life Day Eve
Santa Wookiee came to say
"Kalabakk with your nose so runny
Sing for me cause you're so funny"
Then how the Wookiees loved him
As he wiped his nose all day
Kalabakk the Boogie Wookiee
Wishes you a Happy Life Day!

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Wooded Wonderland

(parody of Winter Wonderland)

Wookiees sing, are you listening
In the trees, the dew glistens
A beautiful sight, we're happy tonight
Walking in a wooded wonderland

Gone away is the blue bird
Here to stay is the new bird
A beautiful sight, we're happy tonight
Walking in a wooded wonderland

In the forest we can hunt some katarn
And pretend that we are Chewbacca
We will roar and maybe tear out their arms
Yes, we could do the job all year round

Later on, we'll be tired
As we feast by the fire
A beautiful site, we're happy tonight
Walking in a wooded wonderland;

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Leave Echo

(parody of Let it Snow)

Oh, the weather on Hoth is frightful
But Echo Base is so delightful
And since our location the Empire doesn't know
Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow

So cold the speeders are stopping
Use tauntauns to go a-hopping
The meteor showers glow
Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow

When Luke doesn't return for the night
The wampa attacks him out in the storm
It gives Han quite a fright
All the tauntaun's guts keep Luke warm

The AT-AT's start a-firing
And, my dear, we're really trying
But that armor's too thick and so
Leave Echo, leave Echo, leave Echo

When we finally give up the fight
How I'll hate going out in the storm
But if the ion cannons shoot right
The Destroyers will not shoot our form

Our troops are slowly dying
Time to flee and give up trying
*sccharrcchtt* Imperial troops have entered the base, Imperial troops have entered the ... *sccharrcchtt*
Grab Leia, Threepio, and go
Leave Echo, leave Echo, leave Echo

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